I suppose, as is thinking about the past, obviously. Had to use that quote as the title, because, I just finished rereading Looking For Alaska again, I love that quote, and I'm thinking about both the past and future a lot lately. It's such a weird thing to do.
I'm gonna have to go with talking about the past first, as that's what's gigantic on my brain right now. Gigantic on my brain, does that make sense? Whatever, who cares? It does to me. Anyway, Marisa just brought up how looking at pictures from high school are now considered old. Which is crazy but true. High school, for me, was...if you're talking about freshmen year, (which was 2003-2004 for me) was 6-7 years ago. WHEN did that happen? HOW am I now 21 years old and halfway through with college? I know this is cliche, but looking back at DVDs I made of my senior year of high school (with pictures as far back as sophomore year) last week, high school really does contain some of the best moments of your life. Some of the most dramatic as well, but also some of the best. There are so many pictures I look at and videos I watch and say "What happened to those times? Why can't I relive some of them? Those nights were so much fun! Can I go back?" and etc, etc.
You'll have to excuse if I"m all over the place with this entry. I have a lot on my mind, pretty much just good things, but my brain is all over the place, thus why this blog probably will be as well. So, what else did I want to talk about? Well, I'm gonna be mia online for the next few days starting Wednesday, as I"m roadtripping to Illinois with Sami and Breeana to see our friend Saad. It's going to be a lot of fun! A long drive (15 hours) but a LOT of fun! I just hope we won't want to kill each other before we get there, cuz it might happen. And knowing me, that might wind up upsetting me more than either of them, thus going into the neverending cycle that is, because of one day this summer, me thinking that Breeana and Sami are both thinking that I'm being overdramatic (did anybody follow that thought process? Sorry if you didn't). I'm never intentionally trying to be overdramatic when I'm upset/angry/whatever and I start crying, but it's sometimes taken that way and I hate it. I wish that everyone could understand just because I'm crying doesn't mean I'm trying to cause drama.
That leads me into something else I've been wondering about lately. I can name names openly on here because neither of them read this or have the link, but, last week, at my little party/get-together, I was told by a friend that supposedly overheard Sami and Breeana talking bad about me but couldn't remember what was said because the friend was too drunk. It upset me because I didn't know why they would talk bad about me when I'm supposed to be, at least in Sami's case, one of their best friends. So I decided to go talk to them about it, considering that they had both locked themselves in my brother's room and were secluding themselves half the night anyway. When I asked them about it, they said that the person probably didn't understand the way we all joke around, and that they would never talk bad about me. Basically that part was worded "Why would we do that to you?" which was pretty much the reason I asked. I Hope to God they were telling the truth because that would make me even more paranoid again, and it kind of did in a way anyway, just not as bad as it could be. I just hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass, basically. For believing that they really weren't serious in whatever was said.
All of that being said, I AM excited for our road trip. Maybe a little nervous about the being frustrated with each other on the way there and back part, but excited nevertheless. It's the last big event coming up this summer before school starts, and while I"m sure there will be a few more fun times in the two weeks after that, this is the last BIG one. Speaking of school, I can't believe it's starting in less than a month. I'm excited for my classes, and my goal is to do much better this semester but we'll see. I'm also going to be worried about Sami, if he does wind up going to Lebanon, which I think he will, but hopefully he'll sometimes be able to text or call, or have an internet connection to talk to us occasionally. I know things are better over there, his brothers went over last summer, but I'm still going to worry. Hell, I know even HE'S going to worry, just because of what happened last time (that being, Lebanon being caught in the middle of Israel and um...I'm going to sound very unintelligent at the moment, but the other country that Israel is always fighting with's war, when Sami was actually there. He saw a lot of things that don't need to be shared, and that I barely know about as well.). I'm sure everything will wind up being okay, and I think going there for a few months will probably be a good thing. I'll just miss him. But then again, not going up to Montclair with Breeana every week will probably be a huge help with doing better with my papers and such.
So, school. I'm actually kind of excited to start classes again, weird as that may sound. I don't want summer to end, but I also kind of want to get back into the swing of things and get my ass in gear. I'm going to be in classes from Monday through Wednesday, which will probably get kind of crazy, but I'm looking forward to having 4 days off from classes. I'm taking five classes this semester. They're: Colonies and Revolution on Mondays, Nazi-Era Germany/Pre-Halocaust and The Tudor-Stuart Age on Tuesdays, and Industrial Revolution and Revolutionary/Soviet-Russia on Wednesdays. I'm particularly excited for the Tudor-Stuart Age, because the Tudors interest me a lot, and the Russia class because I had the first half last semester with the same professor, and he's awesome. I'm hoping to go get my notebook and stuff I need in that mater soon, and then I need to get my butt moving to apply to maybe some preschools, but also to substitute teach with Toms River Schools for the fall. It would give me a lot better money than Wawa, and to be honest, after five years of being there, Wawa and it's dramatics are getting rather stupid and worthless. Not that they ever weren't, but I do not want to deal with Wawa anymore if I don't have to. I don't even make the money I need to survive sometimes. I know I"m going to be plenty low on money again after the road trip for instance.
Anyway, I think I"m done blogging for now. I just wrote a lot more than I planned. I love anybody who took time out to read this but yeah. It was a lot of babble. I feel like I'll be writing again sometime soon but until then, ciao!
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