"You Can't Go Back And Change Time. You Mourn Or You Live."

Before I start, quote is from Doctor Who. I tried to find something fitting, and looked for a good ten minutes before I came upon this. It kind of fits, not in the context of the episode it was quoted in, but it still does. In the context of, I can't change what happened with the things that I'm about to talk about, but I just need to accept them, which I've done. It's funny how they're connected, because the people both changed and are acting stupidly, in both instances. I'm probably not going to go into one much, because it doesn't have to do with me so much as one of my best friends. But the other one, ohhh, the other one I've been waiting to bitch about for quite some time. The only reason I didn't? Well, that was because I didn't want to hurt one of the two people involved. I still don't, really, but at the same time, it seems she doesn't care anymore, so I may as well go for it and "let the truth set me free."

Let me start off my bitch/rant/venting/whatever you want to call it with this quote: “With friendship, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other, or how many fights you’ve gotten into. What matters is who said “I’ll be here for you” and proved it.” It fits very well. I originally wanted to put it as my title, but I realized that it would not have fit at all. So I went with the lovely Doctor Who quote, because Doctor Who=love. (As you can probably tell, this situation hasn't messed with my positive moods, except for the occasional five minute being pissed off when something happens) Speaking of Doctor Who, that is what is both keeping my mood up as I write this post (the soundtrack of course-or, what I have of it on my tumblr, as my CD hasn't been shipped from the UK yet, just dispatched, whatever that means). Anyway, I'm keeping people in suspense here, when I'm sure they know who they are, so let's see.

Anyway, that quote fits because for the female who I'm speaking of, I thought she was going to be there forever and always (not to quote Taylor Swift or anything, it's just what I really thought), and that she was one of the people I can list on two hands that I would never lose touch with, and that I would always love to death. Don't get me wrong, I still love her, I do, but since she's been "in love with" the male I speak of, she has NOT been the same person. Now, I know she's probably rolling her eyes at this and wondering why we've ALL been saying so, but it's true. Don't you think, if we're all saying this, all of the people who were supposed to be your best friends, are saying this SAME THING, that maybe there's some truth to it? I know you think you love him, but I'm not so sure it's love as it is high school infatuation or the like. Not that I've ever experienced that, but I'm kinda glad I never did. I think you need to take a big look at your life and how you've been acting and see if you really like what's going on. I'm not saying dump him, because lord knows you won't right now anyway, for some odd reason, but you BOTH keep going on and on about how you want to try to fix things but don't know how (and don't you worry, mister, I'm saving your rant for last, it's been a long time coming, if you even read this) to fix it. Anyway, back to you, missy, you know who I'm talking to, and I would say your name but I feel weird doing so being this personal. I think, even though you're trying to tell yourself you don't care, that losing the four of us is going to be the worst thing in your life right now. I KNOW for a fact that at least two of us (since I don't speak to the others that often) would never not talk to you again if you needed us, but...things will never be the same. The thing is...and I'm speaking personally now as well, once you're friends with someone, you shouldn't break their trust. That's the worst thing you can do, in my opinion, if you really love that person. And the worse that you break the trust, the worse the situtation's gonna be. Sure, I've accepted some of my best friends' apologies for trust-breaking, and I'VE even broken people's trusts before. But nowhere near as bad as this. And the fact that you did it to WHO you did it to, and for a BOY, who hasn't been there as long as any of us, makes me worried that you would do it to anybody.

I think I'm about done with you. Like I said, myself and at least one other of us would still talk to you if you needed because we do still love you and we DO miss who you used to be, who we'd talk to for hours about EVERYTHING, but it won't be the same :( Not that I'm saying DON'T come to us if you need us, but I wish it didn't have to be like this, and that it hadn't come to this. And like I said, you not answering and trying to defend yourself to my comments on your blog the other day, kinda made me realize even though I don't want to hurt you, I may as well let it all out. Oh, and another thing on that blog. You might not have thought it, but that's what's had me thinking about this situation all week long. I literally teared up, even if most of it wasn't about me, because it made me miss what we all used to have. Just so you know.

Now...on to the other one. I won't be nearly as nice, probably. Let me go take a peek at the blog from the other day, just as a guide for myself, since, funnily enough, a blog from YOU made me want to write this as well. There's just a few points that I need to make from it for you, since I care about her quite a lot more, which you obviously know from said blog. You hate how we all still talk to her? First of all, let me stop you right there. Up till probably now, because she's probably going to be angry at me, I was the only one who's been talking to her at ALL lately out of the people you are involving. Let's continue, shall we? I'm not sure who told you to listen, but I tried to tell you to let everything go, and you said you did, yet...how many statuses have I seen since then pertaining to the situation? Probably at LEAST ten. Just sayin. Next point I want to make. Stop lying about everything just to try to piss people off. Friends sometimes complain about little things that other friends do that are annoying at times. That's not a crime. You make it seem as if your "fairy" (to continue not naming names) complained about everyone in her life to you. I both know AND highly would doubt, if I didn't know, that this is untrue. Completely. And coming from both of us, on the sissy comment, Kamali was definitely here first. So don't go lying, like I said.

Let's see...I think there were a few more things I wanted to say, just going to another paragraph because I'm really raving now. (Sorry to people who don't know the situation-don't worry if you don't want to read this-cuz I loveeee you all! xD) Anyway. And like I already said about the trust thing, since that's what I was next going to address. Trust is a HUGE part of friendship. You really screwed up with that, more than anybody I've ever known, and I've known some very untrustworthy people, so you should probably stop dramatizing it and let it go and move on. You have your friends in your state and your girlfriend, somehow, so stick with them. They love you, at least. And one more side note, that is DEFINITELY kind of creepy that you stil listen to her recorded songs. Skeeves me out. Just saying.

And I think I'm done. On a more positive note, sorry this was so long, and sorry if I come off sounding like a bitch. I'm usually not, as anybody who knows and loves me knows, but this situation has been going on for way too long and it now calls for it. I couldn't hold back anymore. And oh I do feel so much better =) Yay for Positive Pioneering and also getting this off of my chest! <3